His First Kiss
by broken-quill24
Summary: Note to self: Never kiss a boy before sneaking into your house after midnight." A one-shot about a past that Artemis Fowl Junior likes to pretend he never had.


His First Kiss

Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. Artemis Fowl and all related characters are the property of the fabulous Mr. Colfer.

"See you tomorrow," Andrew murmured, hands shoved deep in his pockets.

I opened the manor door slowly, delaying our imminent separation, and stepped inside. "Goodnight Andrew, and thank you…for everything. Tonight was really fun."

The Irish teenager blushed and looked at his feet, unable to meet my gaze. "You're welcome."

"Well, goodbye," I said finally and went to close the door-

"Wait!"

I looked up and was surprised to see Andrew looking at me fiercely, eyes bright. "Yes?"

"One more thing," Andrew said, and carefully walked up the steps toward me. For someone so talented at sports, Andrew was incredibly clumsy and often tripped over his own feet.

"What?" I asked, bewildered.

"Just this," he said, voice wavering, and pressed his lips to mine.

It was wonderful, like my heart was full to bursting. Emotions swirled inside my chest, an intoxicating mixture of fire and ice. His lips were warm and soft against mine, and a gentle hand on my cheek assured they stayed there.

We broke apart after several moments, both dizzy. Andrew was blushing more than ever, and I'm sure my face must have been a mirror image. We both quietly repeated our good-byes and thanks before finally parting.

Stealthily, I slipped inside the front door, closing it with care behind me. It was way past my curfew, and I knew it. Dad would be furious. He was so over-protective.

Praying that dad's retired bodyguard, Butler, was not monitoring the manor's many cameras, I tiptoed up the grand staircase and towards my bedroom. So far, so good. No sign of parents or manor staff.

Up on the landing, I plastered myself to the wall, trying to avoid the eyesight of the many hidden cameras while also endeavoring not to step on a creaky spot in the floor. Not only was my parent's bedroom on this floor, but my dad's study too.

As I reached the wooden door behind which I knew concealed my father's office, I held my breath. It wasn't uncommon for him to stay up into the early hours of the morning working on a project, though Mum didn't like it in the least. I slid along the door silently, save the extra-loud beating of my adrenalin powered heart. Note to self: Never kiss a boy before trying to sneak into your house at midnight.

I was almost past the door, when suddenly from within a voice called,

"Home a bit late, aren't we Miss Fowl?"

I swore under my breath as light filled the crack at the bottom of the study door. Sometimes he was worse than the school Headmaster.

Sighing, and trying to calm my racing heart, I opened the door.

My father's study was easily my favorite room in the whole manor. The antique wood desk was the room's main focus, framed on either side by towering bookshelves, nearly as full as the ones housed in the library. Though it was night and the curtains drawn, the room was warm and bright, lit by beautiful Tiffany lamps.

Head hung; I closed the door and walked to the seat directly across from my father. It was the chair he usually reserved for business clients, but to me, it felt like I was being interrogated at the police station.

"Hi Dad," I mumbled, still looking at my knees.

Artemis Fowl II considered me for a moment, fingers steepled. He always looked so imposing like that, staring down at you with those intense mismatched eyes (that unfortunately, genetics neglected to pass down to me. I guess my mom's brown-hair-brown-eyes genes were just too strong). It seemed unfair he should use such a powerful and terrifying look against me, his only child.

"Do you love him?" he said, finally.

I looked up quickly, surprised at his light and thoughtful tone. "What?"

Dad laughed and shook his head, "You must forgive me. I asked Butler to monitor the security cameras and tell me immediately once you had returned home. Once you did, he transferred the feed to my computer."

"You mean… you saw- w-when we…?" I choked out, my cheeks reddening again.

"I'm sorry. Which leads me again to my first question: Do you love him?"

Gripping the arm rests of the wooden chair I said through gritted teeth, "No…Yes…I mean, I don't know! Dad, can we please not talk about this now? I don't think you'd understand."

Dad's eyebrows knitted and for a while he didn't speak. Standing up, he slowly circled the room, shutting down each of his computers in turn before finally returning to his desk, eyes distant.

"I think you'd be surprised dear. I am married after all."

"No, I just meant that-" I stuttered quickly, hoping not to offend my father.

"Yes, yes. You just meant that I wasn't exactly a normal teenager. I'm afraid genius does come with its downsides," he replied, taking this laptop off the desk and storing it in a drawer. "If you don't mind, I'd like to hear all about it, so I know what I missed."

"Dad, I'm sure you don't want-"

"Oh, I always know what I want."

"But, really, I wasn't a big deal-"

"It was your first kiss wasn't it? It's important as far as I know."

"Yeah- but it's not like we-"

Dad held up a hand, halting my excuse. "Let's make a deal. Tell me about it, and I won't tell your mother you were out past midnight."

I pondered this for a moment. Mum wouldn't be too pleased to find out that I broke my curfew, but then again, maybe this was the perfect opportunity to learn something about my father's elusive past.

"Fine, but if I tell you about my first kiss, you have to tell me yours."

Artemis clapped his hands and laughed, "You drive a hard bargain my dear. Just like your old dad. Always trying to get the most out of a deal."

"So you'll tell me?"

Strangely, dad's eyes became suddenly sad. "You go first and then we'll see."

I frowned but told him the story of my first kiss. Looking back, the night had been truly memorable. Andrew Murphy was one of the cutest boys at my school, and the undisputed hero of the school's football team. He was pretty shy, and usually never even spoke to girls his age, but had gladly accepted when I asked him out on a date last week. The whole night he was so nervous, he could barely string two words together, but I didn't mind. He was my first boyfriend, and I was just as nervous as he was.

Finally, I got to the part about the kiss. It was a difficult moment to describe, and under the gaze of my genius father I felt quite stupid. I just couldn't find the right words.

"Thank you. I understand much better now," Dad said, thankfully ceasing my babble.

I nodded and yawned, trying unsuccessfully to hide it.

"Tired? I'm not surprised. It's quite late. Shall we save our conversation until tomorrow?"

I sat up straight and tried to look alert. "No way. A deal is a deal. It's your turn."

Artemis sighed and then stood up, pushing his chair over a few steps. "Come sit beside me, I don't feel like yelling across my desk anymore."

Trying to be as quiet as possible, I dragged my chair around the desk and to my father's side. When I had sat down, he began,

"Are you sure you want to hear the story? It's not very interesting."

I smiled and patted him on the arm, "Don't worry, mine wasn't either."

"If you insist then. My first kiss…hmmm, let me think. There have been so many kisses, I can hardly remember which came first."

I sent him a withering look and he laughed. "Okay, okay. Ah! I remember. It was the time my friend and I visited Rathdown Park."

"Rathdown Park?" I interrupted, "The place for endangered animals? Why were you there?"

I watched my father critically as he replied. "School trip." As he said it, his eyes seemed to grow pained, the hazel darkening and the blue lightening, like water freezing.

"We were by the gorilla cage, separated from the group when it happened. That's all really."

"What?" I said, turning towards him in my chair, "But, you're missing the most important parts!"

"Such as?"

"Well…first, what was the lead up?" I began.

"The 'lead up'?" Dad asked, honestly confused.

"You know, like in the movies. What did you both say before you kissed?"

He was quiet for a moment, obviously sifting through memories, then, "I said, 'You saved me.'"

"You saved me?" I questioned sarcastically.

Dad laughed softly but his eyes were still sad. "I had forgotten my permission slip to go on the trip and she forged one for me. A little melodramatic I suppose, but basically the same meaning."

"And what did she say back?"

"She said, 'Of course I saved you. I couldn't do without you.' And then, she kissed me." He finished with a sigh, blinking his eyes rapidly.

I continued on, "What was it like?"

Again, he paused to think, and then said with his trademark vampire-like smile, "Magical."

I considered this. My first kiss had surely been wonderful, but magical? That was sure a strange way of describing such an event.

"Next…did you love her?" I asked awkwardly.

Dad's gaze was fixed on the door as he answered in a dead-pan tone, "At the time, I wasn't sure, but now…I know that yes, I did. Very much."

We sat in silence for several more minutes, Dad lost in memories while I reveled at the fact that he had ever loved anyone besides my mom, Elizabeth Fowl. I never really imagined my dad with anyone else. Suddenly an idea sparked within my mind. Of course!

"One more thing Dad," I said, shaking his arm to bring him out of his reverie.

"Promise?" he said, staring at me sideways through his hazel eye.

"Promise. One more and then I'll go to bed."

"Go ahead then."

"The most important detail of all: What was the girl's name?"

This time the answer came to Father quickly and he said quietly, "Minerva. Her name was Minerva Paradizo."

"Minerva Paradizo? Is that- no way… Dr. Minerva-"

"-Laurent, yes, before she was married."

"Wow Dad!" I said joyfully, punching his arm, "What a catch! Nice one," but inside my thoughts were in turmoil. I had a feeling my own father was lying to me about his first kiss. Why wouldn't he tell me the truth, and why did he look so sad? Did this Minerva do something to hurt him? This topic would have to be discussed further in the future.

"Er…thanks dear. Now, run off to bed before your mother comes storming in here," he said, eyes averted.

I stood up and moved my chair to its original position. Dad followed me to the door but before we opened it, I asked,

"Can I go on the computer in my room? Madison and Sarah said they wanted to hear all about my date when I got home."

"Have you finished all your homework?" he asked, one eye brow raised.

"This week's and the next. So, can I?"

Artemis reached around me and opened the door before me, "Go ahead."

I padded out into the hallway, and then whispered over my shoulder, "Goodnight Dad."

Dad closed the study door behind him and reached in the darkness for the door that led to the master bedroom. Except in the winter, Dad always had the bedroom window wide open, and as he opened the bedroom door, his face was bathed in cool moonlight. The effect was eerie, and for a moment, I swore there were tears sparkling in the corners of his eyes. I shook my head. The light was playing tricks on my eyes. Artemis Fowl II never cried.

"Goodnight Holly," he replied and disappeared inside his room.

****

A/N: Just another way to put off writing the next chapter of WYWO. Hope you enjoyed anyway, and that Artemis' daughter wasn't too Mary-Sue-like. If so, please review and critique to your heart's content! If she wasn't, even better!


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